Wherever you go, there you are.

Hi-yo! I'm Ashley and welcome to my new blog...

It's hump day and on my blog this day shall be known as

wisdom wednesdays!

Here is your first dose:

It’s a new year, I’m living in a new apartment, driving a new car and right here and right now, I am starting a new blog. The prime time for a fresh start some might say and I would have to agree. Everyone uses the new year to start fresh, we make new years resolutions and make a promise that we won’t break them.  In general, humans seem to love the idea of fresh starts, I guess that’s why we cling to the promise of something new at midnight on January 1, or why we are so intrigued by  religious concepts such as the resurrection of Jesus on Easter. As humans, its in our nature to mess up so it only makes sense that we look for fresh starts to undo these mistakes.

Unfortunately, as I grow older and ring in new year after new year I am beginning to see a flaw in the whole ‘fresh start’ system. There is a quotation that has been ringing in my head for awhile now and whenever that happens I know the universe is trying to call my attention to something.

‘Wherever you go, there you are’

I don’t know the source of this, and when I googled it my results were inconclusive. (The honest truth is that I was really just too lazy to extensively look into finding its source) In my experience, every year, I make new years resolutions and I promply break them. Sure, its easy to decide I want to eat healthier but then there it is, January 1^st at 3 pm, and I am indulging in the 2 for 1 hot dog deal at the restaurant I work at. (Sad but very true story) Or I decide I want to gossip less but then this chick that hates me cause I had this thing with her boyfriend once upon a time, well she like gave me this look the other day and I just have to share this completely insignificant piece of information with all my close friends. Sound familiar? You’re probably lying to yourself if it doesn’t.

My thought is that the flaw in so called “fresh starts” lies in the above quotation. A person always takes themself to a fresh start. No one changes from 11:59 on December 31 to 12:00 on January 1 but when the clock strikes midnight we expect change to occur. We expect newness and we expect that eating healthy will somehow be a lot easier than it was last year. Maybe it is easier in the beginning and maybe everyone doesn’t succumb to their bad eating habits as fast as I did. But lets be honest, those gyms that were packed in January what do they look like in February? They are filled with people that were there in December and all the months before that.

What I’m really trying to say is that change will not occur unless  a person decides to change something inside. I can make all the vows I want to eat healthier and no matter what time of the year it is, nothing will change unless I fix why I eat when I’m bored, or why I am unable to even look at food if I’m anxious in the smallest way. That’s where the real resolution should come into place. Resolving to dig inside myself and get to the root of my awful eating habits, my love of gossip or to bring it back to the dating theme of this blog… why I keep dating the same men.

It’s sad because they even look the same. Tall, dark eyes, dark hair, often tan, usually scruffy, definitely funny, and always, always a fashionable dresser. I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t look twice at a guy in sweat pants and a dirty shirt or a guy covered in labels that he thinks make him fashionable. Ick. But how they look isn’t really the point, it’s how they act. Without getting into great detail about my “type” let’s just say that seeing as I am single, its not working out for me so well.

 I once read that the universe is incredibly patient and it will keep teaching a person a lesson until he or she has learned it. I most firmly believe this. After the demise of my previous relationship I took a long, hard look at what I did not like about my ex. This was a good exercise and I learned some valuable things about what I want from a man and a relationship. However, it shouldn’t end there. For example, one decision I made was that I am better suited to someone who is closer to the introverted side of the spectrum. Sure enough, the next guy I fell for was certainly shyer and quieter and I found this really attractive. Unfortunately, I ended up in a pretty similar situation and started cursing myself for falling into the same trap, once again. Thankfully, my curious nature had me seeking and asking and I realized if I keep receiving the same treatment from men and having romantic encounters end in shockingly similar situations, the only common thing in those experiences, is me. If I want to date a new man, my first step will be to look at me, and what I can change to attract better men into my life. How are my thoughts and actions putting me into the same situations over and over again? I can only change me, so I’d better start.

With all that said, it probably won’t surprise anyone when I say that I did not make any new year’s resolutions this year. What I have done, is sit down, decide what I desire out of life and realize that while the universe will be there to help me along the way, I am responsible for me, my happiness and the manifestation of those desires. If I take me wherever I go, the only logical thing to do is seek to be the best version of myself possible. I hope you’ll all join me for the ride through this blog and maybe feel inspired to start your own journey to realizing your own personal greatest good.

What would you like to accomplish this year? Have you noticed an unhealthy pattern in your relationships?  Picture yourself as the “best version” of yourself, what do you see?  

Thanks for flying by,

Ash

P.s - check by tomorrow for thankful thursdays